Epiphany

Not the religious holiday but the moment of manifestation of divine power. That point at which we understand something on all levels.

Yesterday was a day of epiphanies for me. As I related some particular skills I have to a dear friend in the context of trying to figure out what to do with my life, I suddenly realized that I don't have to choose one over the others. I can incorporate each of them into my life! What an amazing thought that was and how liberating. I no longer have to agonize over what path I need to travel. Truly it has been agony as I've felt the need to be of service to the world at large and to make some kind of difference. I didn't want a "job". I wanted a career. Something that I could put my heart and soul into and that meant something to me other than a paycheck. Truth be told, the paycheck part has always been the least of my concerns though I was always mindful of making certain the bills get paid. I'm far too Virgo to not be responsible.

When I realized I could use all my skills and had no need to make a choice, I no longer feared making the wrong choice. That had been a tremendous hinderance to me. But now that I no longer have to do choose, I can easily see how they all work together to create a larger picture. In hindsight, my astrology and numerology were correct in that I couldn't see the forest because of the trees. ha ha In this case, the trees were the individual skills and I couldn't see the forest, and consequently my path through it, because I was so busy trying to decide which tree was the best of the lot.

Now I see that I can build the Sanctuary I have seen in a vision and help people without giving up on my crafts or my writing and vice versa. Keeping up with my crafts and writing doesn't mean I have to give up the vision of Sanctuary.

Along those lines, I later had yet another epiphany. Have you ever had one of those moments in time that an idea comes to you, fully formed? It is as if it were meant for you alone and no one else. Just such a thing happened to me yesterday after my first revelation of the day. In regards to my writing, in recent days I had thought on what to write about. What is my story? Well, nothing had come up. Again, I couldn't see the forest because of the trees. Then yesterday, when my mind was on a craft project I was working on (crocheting a shawl), it suddenly came to me. My writing will be in the form of a website. Immediately after that, the name and plot were there, in my mind, fully formed. "Oh, but that is too simple," I thought. I looked up the name and sure enough, it was available! It is just utterly amazing to me that it hadn't been taken already. I immediately purchased the domain name and after my move in February, I'll be going online with the site. In the meantime, I'll be working on the site design and the initial content. I am very much looking forward to going online with this and sharing it with the world.

Dreamweaver

Mr. or Mrs. Right

Some people feel that they absolutely require a mate for true happiness. Others feel that the idea of that perfect someone is only harmful. This is a subject I've contemplated many times over the years. In moments of blissful happiness with my mate, I've felt that nothing could be better. In times of disagreement, I was certain that anything would be better than going through the arguing. But over time I've come to realize that while it is possible and likely that we all have a Mr. or Mrs. Right, that mate is NOT responsible for our happiness or our misery. That is clearly up to us. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and happiness! Let me repeat that. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and happiness!

In The Charge of the Goddess as written by Starhawk, she tells us that that which we seek must be found within.

And you who seek to know Me,

know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not,

unless you know the Mystery:

for if that which you seek,

you find not within yourself,

you will never find it without.

It is the same with our happiness. We must be whole as a person in order to be happy in a relationship. We cannot, nor do we have the right to try to change the other person. We can either accept them as they are or choose to walk away from the relationship or change our expectations.

On the whole, we as a society really need to work on accepting responsibility for ourselves rather than blaming our problems on someone else. This is where I repeat myself yet again and say that we are responsible for our own happiness! No one forces us to be abusive to another person nor does anyone force us to remain in a bad relationship. No one forces us to give up on our dreams or to live life in a way that makes us unhappy. No one chooses our path but us.

Stand up and take control of your life. No one will do it but you!

Dreamweaver

A new chapter

Today is the start of a new year and with it, the start of a new chapter in our lives. As I sit and face the empty pages of the year that are yet to be written, I think on what my goals are for the new year. Oddly enough, it seems the goals I have are not new ones but rather, continuation of old goals. For me, 2006 will be a chance to dig deeper. So, I'd like to share my goals here:

1) My doctor's have warned me that I have a higher chance than normal of losing my hearing due to severe damage of my inner ears as well as my ear drums due to repeated infections. Because of this, it seems prudent to learn sign language so, as part of our homeschooling, my children and I have started learning sign language. So, one of my goals for 2006 is to increase my sign language vocabulary and to use it more frequently.

2) I love needlework! I've been quite the addict since 2000 and my love for this artform only deepens with each passing day. I never tire of taking needle in hand and using it to create beautiful pictures. So 2006 will see a continuation of that work but I also plan to learn a new art/craft. At this time, I'm thinking of something with dried gourds. However, I also plan to get back into beadweaving.

3) I recently started learning about Numerology through a course at Decoz Numerology. I am really enjoying learning this and find it endlessly fascinating. Hans Decoz is very thorough in his explainations of how numerology works as well as showing how to calculate the various numbers in the chart. Its far more intricate than I had expected. So, for 2006 I intend to continue learning the intricacies of Numerology

4) I enjoy writing. Whether in my blogs, email, journals, etc, I really like putting words on paper or on the computer. This year, I have set a goal to write more often. I haven't found my "story" yet, but sooner or later, it will come to me. So in the meantime, I'll just keep writing whatever suits me at the moment.

5) I feel the need to strengthen my relationship with the God & Goddess of my spiritual path. 2006 will see me working on that relationship and one of the ways I intend to do that is with regular meditation. I love the feeling it brings to me.

6) I have gotten into the very bad habit of second guessing myself on most things. I have officially ended that practice and from this day forward, I will trust my instincts.

7) My family and I are moving to another state. At long last we will be leaving Florida and we are very much looking forward to it.

8) Ever since I was given a vision, I have been planning to build a Sanctuary. It will be a place where people can come to escape the world for a short time in total privacy. I have a wide variety of facilities in mind and 2006 will see the beginnings of making the Sanctuary a reality in a place other than my mind and heart.

I encourage everyone to set goals for themselves for the New Year. Don't waste time with resolutions. They are too easily forgotten. Instead, set goals and work toward achieving them. Fill the pages of your new chapter with all of your dreams brought to life. After all, life isn't a dress rehearsal. It is the real thing!

Peace be the journey my friends,
Dreamweaver