Mr. or Mrs. Right

Some people feel that they absolutely require a mate for true happiness. Others feel that the idea of that perfect someone is only harmful. This is a subject I've contemplated many times over the years. In moments of blissful happiness with my mate, I've felt that nothing could be better. In times of disagreement, I was certain that anything would be better than going through the arguing. But over time I've come to realize that while it is possible and likely that we all have a Mr. or Mrs. Right, that mate is NOT responsible for our happiness or our misery. That is clearly up to us. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and happiness! Let me repeat that. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and happiness!

In The Charge of the Goddess as written by Starhawk, she tells us that that which we seek must be found within.

And you who seek to know Me,

know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not,

unless you know the Mystery:

for if that which you seek,

you find not within yourself,

you will never find it without.

It is the same with our happiness. We must be whole as a person in order to be happy in a relationship. We cannot, nor do we have the right to try to change the other person. We can either accept them as they are or choose to walk away from the relationship or change our expectations.

On the whole, we as a society really need to work on accepting responsibility for ourselves rather than blaming our problems on someone else. This is where I repeat myself yet again and say that we are responsible for our own happiness! No one forces us to be abusive to another person nor does anyone force us to remain in a bad relationship. No one forces us to give up on our dreams or to live life in a way that makes us unhappy. No one chooses our path but us.

Stand up and take control of your life. No one will do it but you!

Dreamweaver