Fly from the inside

I made a post on yahoo 360 some time back about turning inside out. It can be so hard to be on the outside who we truly are on the inside. Sometimes we hide who we really are so deep that we don't even know who we are. We actually hide from ourselves! Well, I decided I'd had enough of that nonsense. I was going to be me, through and through! On that day, I started doing the things I wanted to do. Sure, I still have responsibilities and I take care of them. But like with the things I want to do, my reasons for doing those things for which I am responsible changed as well. Suddenly I was seeing everything in a different light and a huge chunk of my cynicism fell away. Its hard being me on the outside that I am on the inside but it is SO worth it!

Why is it so hard? Well, being on the outside who we are on the inside leaves us standing before the world naked and alone. We put our barest soul out there for others to accept or reject. When we are in hiding, if someone rejects us, we still have that part of us protected that is the most important part. But when we turn inside out, we are exposing the most vulnerable part of ourselves for acceptance or rejection. Rejection is so much more painful when its the real person being rejected and there are those who have rejected me as I am. Thankfully there are many more who are accepting the real me and still love me despite my imperfections. That is a hard concept for a Virgo to grasp. We can accept other's imperfections but it is near to impossible to accept our own. Anyway, though I am grateful for those who choose to accept me, the important thing is that I accept myself now.

By choosing this path, a great many new doors have opened to me. I have more faith in myself now and because of that, my gifts are expanding. Suddenly people's thoughts and reasons are ever more clear to me and not nearly so threatening. As an empath, I've always been able to feel people's emotions and it was frequently overwhelming but now I know more clearly what they are feeling, why they are feeling it and even in group situations, who the feelings are coming from. LOL I feel like Deanna Troi from Star Trek The Next Generation.

Another experience recently is that my spiritual side has opened and expanded even more. Its hard to explain but I didn't stop at turning inside out. I learned to fly from the inside. All throughout my astrology and numerology it says how I'm good with words and a writer and yet, all my words fail me when I try to explain what I mean by this. Perhaps it is like the Great Mysteries. Unless you learn it for yourself, you'll never understand any explaination given so there is no reason for me to try. But, I want to tell everyone out there to learn to fly from the inside.

I still have my days of despair and cynicism. The days where I think everything is hopeless and humanity is lost. The days where I want to give up and not fight anymore. To not be a light shining in the darkness and to have someone carry me. But to not fight....I can't do that. Just like in the Garth Brooks song, "I do this so this world will know that it will not change me." My friend Beast said much the same thing in his blog at Yahoo 360. ( http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-T3YiyCQ2dKKohWwqE5oEhFpJ )

Dreamweaver